Films,  Lifestyle

Call Me A Film Critic Because This Girl Has Seen Some Films

December 30, 2021 /

Ah the cinema … The dark theatres (that are freezing cold). The warm buttery popcorn (that doesn’t make it past the trailers). The epic feeling of being transported into another realm through a screen that seems to fade away and all that remains is you and the film.

Do you remember movie theatres? Because for me, it’s a vague distant memory. Jokes aside, I have not been to a movie theatre since pre-panini days, probably way before then if I’m being honest. I was never a huge movie theatre buff. I’d go occasionally but the truth is, I’m much more comfortable watching a movie at home. For one thing, I can stay watching in my pjs and no one’s going to judge me. I can put on the SUBTITLES because I need to read my movie to hear it. Most importantly though I can be physically doing something while I watch my movie. Whether that be crochet or hand stitch, I need to physically be doing something.

I cannot sit still and simply just watch a movie. I envy those that can. I have anxiety and ocd. And over the past year I discovered that watching movies became an incredibly difficult thing for me to. Instead of watching the movie I would spiral. My thoughts would start racing with things like “Why can’t you pay attention to the movie? There must be something fundamentally wrong with you.” and “Sit still, stop twitching. You’re twitching again and now it’s never going to stop!”

Look, anxiety is misguided. Not a liar, per say, just operating under false pretenses. So when the first time I tried to watch a movie while being highly sensitized during my dark days (we’ll call my very anxious time that) I had a panic attack. My anxiety (in all her beautifully misguided ways) began to associate watching a movie with having a panic attack. That may not make any sense to you if you’ve never experienced daily anxiety over a prolonged amount of time. Or you may be thinking to yourself, gee that sound like me when I do *insert literally any activity here*. Either way, that’s the way it was for me.

So I basically stopped watching movies, because I didn’t want to be anxious. I’m now a a full year into therapy and well past a year from the start of my dark days. I’d even say that I’m no longer living in the dark days. So what does that mean? Well, I started watching movies again. In the month of November I had a gargantuan amount of hand stitching to do and instead of watching YouTube or listing to an audiobook I decided that I wanted to give movies a go. And it was a success. I watched a total of 16 movies! Yeah. I basically had a sweet sixteen but in movie form.

In college, I used to watch movies ALL THE TIME! I had a movie playing in the background almost all the time and I even took a American Film History class that quite literally required me to watch movies as homework. (Side note: That was one of the best classes I’ve ever taken.) I loved watching movies and I still love watching movies. And for so long I robbed myself of the pleasure of watching a movie because I was scared. Note that I said that I robbed myself, not anxiety, because at the end of the day you decide what you can and can’t do. Anxiety just loves to shout her opinions in you ear while you’re trying to think.

So, I’m watching movies again and I’d like to give you my brief (I’m really going to try to not write so much but no promises) reviews on the 16 movies I watched in November. If you don’t have a warm cup of something with you I implore you to go make something; tea, coffee, hot cocoa, anything. It’ll only serve to add to the experience.

Without further or do: The 16 Films I Watched In November – in chronological order [Note: All these movies were watched on Netflix unless otherwise specified. Thank God for Netflix.]

#1 Love Hard

OMG this movie was so funny!!!!

That’s it. That’s the whole review. Thank you and The End.

No for real now. This movie just came out last month on Netflix and I had no intention of watching it but I was over at my sister’s house early in the month and she put it on and I was hooked. The short of it is that the main character, Natalie, gets catfished and ends up spending Christmas with her catfish’s family. When I tell you I cackled! I found the humor to be perfect mostly because Jimmy O. Yang is a fantastic comedian and Nina Dobrev is so funny! I will say that I had a really hard time watching the movie and not thinking about Elena from Vampire Diaries lol. But it didn’t take away from the movie at all. I think the overall sentiment was great and it was just such a cute Holiday movie. I actually really want to watch it again before Christmas.

Star Rating: 5/5

#2: Game Over Man!

I wanted to watch a straight up stupid funny movie. I saw Adam DeVine and I knew I was going to get a straight up stupid funny movie. Game Over Man! follows three best friends who work in a hotel as cleaning staff when the hotel gets taken hostage by terrorists and they have to save the day. This movie was ridiculous, in a good way! I definitely laughed, multiple times and it was in the genre of stupid funny that I was looking for. Ultimately though, this just wasn’t favourite movie. It wasn’t bad it, just wasn’t great. It was just missing something. I did enjoy the idea of the hotel being taken hostage and I loved all the main characters. It’s a movie that I wouldn’t seek out watching again but if it happend to be on then I would watch it.

Star Rating: 3½ /5

#3: Special Correspondence

What does it say about me that this is one of my comfort movies?

I adore Ricky Gervais and the fact that he stars in this film and directs it is just a bonus! Basically, Ricky plays a character called Finch who is married to this awful woman (played by Vera Farmiga – which, side note: how amazing is she as an actress?! She can play the absolute most unlikable characters I’ve ever watched and she does it in a way that is never over acted.) Anyway, so Finch and Frank are radio journalists and they’re supposed to be going to South America to cover a developing war but Finch accidentally throws away their passports and so the two of them have to fake all their news coverage from New York. Craziness ensues and ultimately they dig themselves into a hole where they have to actually go to South America and fake their own kidnappings. It’s hilarious and filled with the typical Ricky Gervais style of humor that I love. When I want to watch a movie that I don’t need to pay attention too (because I seen it so many times) but I want to laugh out loud, I go to Special Correspondents.

Star Rating: 5/5

#4: Red Notice

This is movie that made me realize that I LOVE Ryan Reynolds! He’s so funny! I must sound so incredibly behind on the times here but don’t forget, I like literally just started watching movies again. He made this movie worth the watch. I thought The Rock did great as well, I haven’t seen him in as many films. This is a heist movie, and I LOVE a good heist so I was really into it for that reason. Overall though, the movie was okay. Like slightly better than okay but I wasn’t blown away it and I’m honestly not quite sure why. The plot twist was good, I wasn’t expecting it. The action scenes were really well shot. I just wasn’t emotionally invested in any characters and I think that’s why I couldn’t really get into it. It was good enough that I would watch the sequel, if there is one being made.

Star Rating: 3½ /5

#5: The Lovebirds

Omg this one took me by surpirse!

I did not expect to enjoy this one as much as I did because I went into it blind, I didn’t even read the description. It just popped up in the “suggested watch” section and so I clicked. This movie was so good! The short of it is that our main characters, Jibran and Leilani are about to break up when they accidently become accused of MURDER and they have to race to clear their names. The whole movie takes place over the course of one night and it’s super fast paced and action filled and absolutely hilarious! This had all the vibes of a ridiculous situation you’d find in movie like Game Over Man! or Pineapple Express (you know what I mean?) but what made it so much better than those movies was that the main characters reacted to the situations exactly the way a normal person thrown into a wild situation like that would. And I really appreciated that because it made everything so much more believable and they were such likeable characters!

Star Rating: 4½ /5

#6: School of Rock

School of Rock. Need I say more?

This is another one of my comfort movies and when I saw that it was being taken off Netflix on November 30th (why Netflix?? Just why?) I of course had to watch it. Plus, it’s literally such a feel good movie and I wanted that at the time that I watched this. If, by some odd reason you haven’t heard of this movie in the 18 (literally 18!! How is it that old??) years that it’s been out basically it follows failing musician Dewey as he scams his way into becoming a substitute teacher and then he creates a rock band with the kids in his class. This movie references so many amazing musicians and songs and the whole movie just rocks! I love the school setting and Miranda Cosgrove is it in, hello!?? And Jack Black is fantastic in this movie. He can be a bit of a hit or miss actor for me but I really love him in this movie. Oh! And can we talk about Ned’s girlfriend for a minute!!? Because she is the WORST!

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Star Rating: 5/5

#7: Pineapple Express

Ah Pineapple Express. A Cult Classic. Arguably the beginnings of Stoner Action Comedy movies. Everyone’s fav.

And that’s why it hurt me so much more when at the end of the movie I realized: It just wasn’t my favourite…

I wanted to love this movie SO bad you guys! I don’t even think you can understand. Stoner Action Comedies is one of my all-time favourite sub-genres of movies and I went straight to the source. One of the OGs. Seth Rogen and James Franco. And I didn’t love it!! I just didn’t love it. And I think that’s because the genre has grown so much since this movie originally came out and (I’m probably going to get so much hate for this but) better movies have come out. I think I just watched this too late in life and if I didn’t have other movies to compare it too then I would have loved this so much more. If I’m being fair, I loved it for what it was I just didn’t love it enough to probably ever watch it again.

Star Rating: Star Rating: 3½ /5

#8: Accepted

This. This was the stoner comedy I was waiting for! How underrated is this movie that it has some amazing mid-2000s actors in it but I had never heard of it before! To be totally honest, I clicked on it because the main guy (the one in the middle) was cute and I remembered him being in movies I watched growing up. It was one of those, “Omg! It’s that guy!” moments. That guy is actor Justin Long who happens to play Alvin in the 2007 version of Alvin and the Chipmunks. And I thought, Yeah okay, that makes sense but where do I REALLY know him from?? And then it hit me: He’s the cute guy in Herby Fully Loaded! The good version with Lindsey Lohan! I loved that movie growing up and naturally I had a crush on him! Such a mid-2000s actor, that one is. I wonder what happend to him…

Anyway! Accepted was HILARIOUS! I’m a sucker for a “kids-governing-kids” style trope and this movie is literally that. When Long’s character Bartleby (what even is that name?) doesn’t get accepted into any college he just makes one up. And before he or his friends know it hundreds of kids have accidently enrolled and been accepted to the South Harmon Institute of Technology where they all officially become S.H.I.T heads. The movie was so funny and just so perfectly mid-2000s ( I hope you know what I mean by that.) It was like a watching a comfort movie without even knowing that it was a comfort movie. Long story short, I loved it and I’d watch it again whenever I’m having a bad day.

Star Rating: 5/5

#9: American Ultra

American Ultra. Oh. I don’t really know what to say about this one. On the one hand, I enjoyed a good number of parts of this movie and on the hand I walked away feeling disappointed. I think my biggest problem with this movie is that it tries too hard to be a great Stoner Action Comedy and it just falls short. The whole movie felt like it was trying too hard and that’s the one statement that keeps repeating in my head whenever I think about this movie. Where there funny parts? Yes. Was Kristen Stewart better in this movie but still really awkward? Also yes. Was there crazy action and a pretty good plot twist? Also yes. Was it a great movie? No.

It was just okay.

Edit: I realize now that I didn’t even briefly tell you about this movie. To be honest, this movie was so weird I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on for like the first half but basically the main character used to be some CIA experiment that went wrong but he has no memory of who he was before the movie starts. Then he remembers and bad things start to happen. Explosions and bad guys ensues. The End.

I just Googled the Rotten Tomatoes score and it was a 2/5 and I quote:

…about as lumpy and ungainly as you’d imagine…

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/american_ultra

*Insert the crying emoji here* But why does that perfectly describe the movie! I’m not changing my rating though. As I said, it was not spectacular by any stretch of the word but I did chuckle a few times and that’s why I give it:

Star Rating: 3/5

#10: Mr. Right

I was on an Action Comedy kick okay? I just trying to get that same feeling I had when watching Lovebirds.

This was not that.

This wasn’t bad. But this wasn’t great. It was just, again, Okay. Like, I was super excited that Anna Kendrick was in it because I adore her! And her acting was really great. Overall, all the acting was great I just don’t think I connected that much with this film. In the end it felt as though it was just lacking that extra oomph to really make this movie great. It definitely had it’s funny moments though so I would say give it a watch and form your own opinion. You never know, you may love it!

Oh yeah, basically the guy is an assassins and they fall in love. People are after him. The end.

Star Rating: 3½ /5

#11: Grease

I think this one speaks for itself. 10/10!

I will never not give this movie a full five star rating, it’s absolutely one of my favourite movies of all time. Everything about it is perfect in it’s own imperfect way. I have a lot of fun making fun of this movie while I watch it because I just love it so much. The music: 10/10. The way none of them look even remotely like high schoolers: 10/10. That final carnival scene: 10/10. Kenickie: 10/10! Rizzo: 10/10!! I could go on forever here because there is not one single part of this film that don’t absolutely love. It’s a work of art.

Anyway, I watched this one on my birthday (and I do own this one on dvd) to celebrate my birthday. It was the perfect addition to an overall relaxing day.

Star Rating: 5/5

#12: Ninja Assassin

This one took me by surprise! I’ve never watched a ninja movie (I know, shocking) so I didn’t know what I was walking into with this one but I genuinely loved it so much! And they’re coming out with a sequel that I will be definitely watching. I feel like sometimes action movies can get really cheesy in the way they act out fight scenes or when they throw in those stupid cheesy action movie one-liners. You know what I mean? This movie didn’t have any of that. It was totally believable, incredibly gory (trigger warning for incredible amount of blood and gore. But honestly, if you didn’t get that vibe from the title alone I can’t help you there.) It was just really really good. And I think the thing that surprised me the most was how much I enjoyed it especially never having seen a ninja movie before. I feel like I just stepped into a whole new world of movies that I want to explore.

I also would never have watched it if I didn’t see that Netflix was removing it Nov. 30th. Having a deadline helped give me the push I needed to watch this and I’m so glad I did. I’m not sure where you can watch this one now but I’d check Amazon.

Star Rating 4/5

#13: 6 Underground

This was another surprising one for me because I saw some really low bar action films this month and I went into this one a little hesitant. But hello! I LOVED this one! I loved this one so much it got 5/5 stars (that should tell you everything right there).

Of course, I clicked this movie because of Ryan Reynolds, duh. I think I watched every movie he’s in that’s on Netflix. I just like how naturally funny he is, even in more serious action films. Anyway, my love for Ryan Reynolds aside, this movie was fantastic! And highly underrated, in my opinion. You have fast action, a heist and a found family trope (I love a found family trope). There were genuinely some scenes that gave me palpitation and like, I get palpitation all the time but this time it was genuinely from the movie. There are a few scenes that show that characters being very very high up (no spoilers here) but I did almost pee myself watching those scene because I am absolutely TERRIFIED of heights. I’m talking, I have a full on phobia here. Being five stories high makes my palms sweaty and my heart race. So yeah, some of those scenes literally gave my anxiety. And I loved it.

Star Rating: 5/5

#14: War Dogs

I literally hated this movie. The End.

No but actually, I spent the entire movie waiting for it get good and Spoiler Alert! It never did.

I get that this is based on true events. Cool. The movie still sucked. Jonah Hill is such a fantastic actor and I will say that the acting was the best part of this movie. But he is such a good actor and played his role so well that it made me hate this movie because his character is quite possibly one of the largest *ahem* buttholes on the face of the planet. And knowing that his character is a real person made me hate him even more and I don’t feel like he got what he deserved by the end of the movie which was so annoying! And just unenjoyable as a whole. And the story was just, I don’t know, disjointed? I just felt like I spent the whole movie waiting for something and then nothing ever came!

Yeah. This movie was trash. The end.

Star Rating: 2/5

#15: The Package

Thank God this was the next movie I watched after that tragic film because this was gold.

It’s been a month now since I’ve watched this and when I think about it now I just want to watch it again and so I will tentatively say that this might turn into a 5 star film. I’ll let you know after I watch it again. But basically this was everything I was hoping to get from Pineapple Express. This movie was so funny I was genuinely laughing out loud, which is not a thing a do with movies that I watch alone in my room. (I just think that’s super weird.) Anyway, these high school kids go camping and one of the friends accidentally cuts off his … package. And the whole movie is about his friends trying to get his *package* to the hospital so the doctors can reattach it and hilarity ensues as they struggle to make the journey. I absolutely won’t say more because this is 100% the type of film you have to go in blind and just experience. Please go watch it! I cried laughing. (Disclaimer: if you’re not a fan stupid humor don’t watch this, you won’t find it funny.)

Star Rating: 4½ /5

#16: A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas

Finally, my first Christmas movie of the season and it was a good one!

Again, this movie is just the right amount of Stupid humor to be absolutely hilarious. It’s 100% a stoner comedy, so if that’s not your thing stick to something else. I thought this movie was great. That begin said, I had NO IDEA this is the third Harold and Kumar movie out there! So yeah, I was super confused for the first 20 minutes or so until I googled it. Once I realized, I enjoyed it more knowing that I wasn’t going to understand everything. So basically, you can watch this if you’ve never see a Harold and Kumar movie but I definitely wouldn’t recommend it because you will be lost to some of the story. I’m definitely going to watch the first two movies in this world and then come back and rewatch this one because I know I’ll enjoy it more once I have the backstory. So for now my rating stays at four stars.

Star Rating: 4/5

Wow. If you made it this far Gold Star. I mean it. I can’t believe I watched 16 movies in one month and honestly wrote a review for each one of them. And if you read all of them, I also can’t believe that but thank you! If you’ve watched any of these movies let me know in the comments. And if you have any movies suggestion please leave those too! I’d love to see more movies. This was fun but my fingers are tired from typing and this post is basically a book so Ta for now!

xx

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